sxxk1ttn: (boobs)
[personal profile] sxxk1ttn
Did you like what read?
********************

That is exactly the subject line and entry to a message I got from some winner with a practically empty profile (and no pics!).  i checked it out because i found myself added to a favorites list and I like to see who i need to permanently block before things get too annoying.

As the glaring lack of grammar in the message reminded me of the hilarious "i accidentally an entire coke bottle..." yahoo questions brilliance, i decided i was going to respond to every message from this guy in form of a meme and see how long it would take for him to either pick up on the references and go away, or realize I was fucking with him and the messages were going nowhere that make sense. 

***********************

me: i accidentally a whole coke bottle?!
him: What did you do with a coke bottle? Something naughty?
me: i herd u liek mudkips.
him: A Pokemon character, I haven't watched that show in years. I had to google mudkips to find out what that was.
me: centipedes? in YOUR vagina? it's more likely than you think.
him: Centipedes in a vagina?? What kind of douche do you use to get them out?
ETA
me: yo dawg i herd yo and yo dawg like yo yos so we put yo dawg in a yo yo so yo can yo yo yo dawg while yo dawg yo yos, dawg.
him: A little too much BET, I see.  [STAY CLASSY BB!]
ETA 2
me:i can haz cheezburger.
him: You should try a turkey burger, red meat is not very healthy.
me: i'm in ur base killin ur d00dz.
him: My dudes don't do psychotherapy anymore.

**********at that point i had posted this to [livejournal.com profile] okcupid_snark   trying to get more ideas for non-visual memes, because my favorites are really macros.  So then I started sending more cause it was a long weekend and the pickings were slim as no one was around the intertubes, i was bored.
******************

him: "I'm like a dog in heat, a freak without warning I have an appetite for sex, 'cause me so horny." (guess where I quoted that from)

So how about you?
me:

him: So . . . . . . what are you doing Saturday night or even Sunday night, you little agent of chaos you. Hopefully, we can get together and put a smile on our face and not be so serious.

me: i doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.   [also, awesome Twilight themed snark that really makes it all OK- Growing Up Cullen.  I hate these books but between this and the recaps i've spent HOURS laughing with non-stop tears rolling down my face and i don't have to financially contribute to them!]

him: I don't know the Rosedale area, I don't think I have ever been there. It's in Queens right? I'm not too familiar with the city. Have you ever been to Rockland County?

me:

him: I take that as you already had enough fun today.

me: all ur dong r belong to us

him:

I didn't quite get that. I thought you did not want to speak to me after that rant about "lasagna."

 


Date: 2009-01-06 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lightcastle.livejournal.com
Wow.

Just...
wow.

Date: 2009-01-06 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sxxk1ttn.livejournal.com
when i get in front of the computer i give my inner sociopathic screaming child free reign.

Date: 2009-01-07 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lightcastle.livejournal.com
Oh, I knew that.

It was the whole... everything.

Date: 2009-01-07 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sxxk1ttn.livejournal.com
that's pretty much what prompted the entire thing AND further fueled it.

i think i'm going to start with some Advice Dog bits next. http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Advice_dog

Date: 2009-01-07 02:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lightcastle.livejournal.com
Ow.
That's just mean. :)

Date: 2009-02-22 07:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] perfectlylegal.livejournal.com
This journal has been the most entertaining read I've had in awhile. I've gotta add you.

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