sxxk1ttn: (Default)
2010-11-08 05:48 pm

(no subject)

can't stop watching Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead when it comes on.
sxxk1ttn: (sxxk1ttn)
2009-05-18 09:22 pm

you totally care what i'm doing with myself

well and so.

semester is winding down, i am avoiding studying for my two finals that are tomorrow and wednesday; i have never been more miserable in classes ever.

  i am going to SF and LA for a week starting thursday morning for a wedding. i think the wedding in SF will be meh since i only know the groom, and the other person i know is in the middle of graduating from the SF music conservatory and arranging a major production of her own, so she will really not be around though i am crashign with her.

LA  seems more promising, as my gay boyfriend who i only ever see these days is when he's back in NY for funerals is heading up the memorial day fabulousness.  there is already a pool party in palm springs scheduled for the minute i get off the plane status post wedding shenanigans the night before.

overall though, this vacay should be sweet because i'm hardly paying for shit since i have buddy passes for jetblue courtesy of SexyLexy's sucker ex-boyfriend and the couches of friends.

i hate my job.  more accurately, i hate my boss. did i tell you that Freaky Feminist Gynecologist retired August 2008 and pretty much sold me into serfdom to this new gyno?  there's nothing inherently wrong with her aside form the fact that she's completely incompetent and pretty much behaves like a petulant child because she doesn't actually want to answers questions or address issues, but acts put upon because no one can read her fucking mind.  when she's not acting like that, she' acting like a spoiled teenager who can't be bothered and has other far more important things to attend to than her job.  i'm pretty sure she doesn't even like being a doctor. i hate her so fucking much.

i have brand new awesome hair. i have decided to go blonde.  bleach blonde. and i can fucking pull it off. and so my hair is extra Scene Queen now. 

i am also apparantly dating a lawyer (i know), for like forever, in Sxxk1ttn years.  he's awesome, more of an angry feminist than i am, probably the most age appropriate person i've dallied with in a long time and even still he's a bit younger than me, and non-monogamy is non-negotiable.  we walk around manhattan stalking people who seem like they'd be interesting to follow, we drink a lot- lately this is in the form of delicious spiked milkshakes, we IRL troll at terrible clubs, play rockband, we are trying to get a Risk/Catan game together with folks but it keeps falling through, we talk about how awesome we are and we laugh a lot at stupid things and people.  i am pretty sure that something has to be horribly wrong with him, but so far the only evidence is that he likes me and he likes corsets (though he hasn't actually admitted this, it's just my super powers of observation), or at least me in corsets; other than that he's not apparantly crazy or crazy making which sometimes makes me nostalgic for a random, irrational outburst of assholery.  i am quite smitten, and he seems to think i am the bees knees as he keeps on letting me come over for entire saturdays and sundays at a time every week.  there is also a tremendous amount of very good sex0rs and more often than not we part ways covered in horrible marks. obviously.

so that's really it.  i go out more often now since normally i'd just be using that time sitting around at home not doing homework anyway but instead i'm at least getting laid at the end so that's how i justify it.  therefore i'm usually in the city on saturdays doing something that involves drinking, possibly also breaking off half my toenail as i'm walking because i'm drunk and bleeding all over the flipflop, so feel free to send out invites or let me know if there's good things happened that would be interesting to troll or people mock because that's what saturday's are for.

sxxk1ttn: (boobs)
2009-01-05 09:41 pm

I see you checked out my profile

Did you like what read?
********************

That is exactly the subject line and entry to a message I got from some winner with a practically empty profile (and no pics!).  i checked it out because i found myself added to a favorites list and I like to see who i need to permanently block before things get too annoying.

As the glaring lack of grammar in the message reminded me of the hilarious "i accidentally an entire coke bottle..." yahoo questions brilliance, i decided i was going to respond to every message from this guy in form of a meme and see how long it would take for him to either pick up on the references and go away, or realize I was fucking with him and the messages were going nowhere that make sense. 

***********************

me: i accidentally a whole coke bottle?!
him: What did you do with a coke bottle? Something naughty?
me: i herd u liek mudkips.
him: A Pokemon character, I haven't watched that show in years. I had to google mudkips to find out what that was.
me: centipedes? in YOUR vagina? it's more likely than you think.
him: Centipedes in a vagina?? What kind of douche do you use to get them out?
ETA
me: yo dawg i herd yo and yo dawg like yo yos so we put yo dawg in a yo yo so yo can yo yo yo dawg while yo dawg yo yos, dawg.
him: A little too much BET, I see.  [STAY CLASSY BB!]
ETA 2
me:i can haz cheezburger.
him: You should try a turkey burger, red meat is not very healthy.
me: i'm in ur base killin ur d00dz.
him: My dudes don't do psychotherapy anymore.
ur doin it wrong )

me: i doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.   [also, awesome Twilight themed snark that really makes it all OK- Growing Up Cullen.  I hate these books but between this and the recaps i've spent HOURS laughing with non-stop tears rolling down my face and i don't have to financially contribute to them!]
moar )

 


sxxk1ttn: (sxxk1ttn)
2008-12-13 06:44 pm

(no subject)

someone on OKC made this for me





i'm probably more flattered than i should be.

sxxk1ttn: (sxxk1ttn)
2008-11-23 11:01 pm

inadvertant erotica in physics lab?

I'm doing my physics lab write up since it's due tomorrow, and I'm actually reading the manual procedures now even though we did this lab last week.

The last 2 labs have had some interesting phrasing of the procedures and observations that i would like to share with you.

  Two weeks ago we did Sound Waves or some shit.  We had a guitar string, and a function generator and an oscilliscope.  We were applying various frequencies to the string and watching the sine waves it made, looking at wavelength, finding the nodes where there was zero oscillation and shit like that.  you can use your hands to detect when there's a node vs antinode because at a node your finger won't interfere with the wave motion as shown on the scope.

From the lab manual: Watch the oscilliscope display as you slide your fleshy fingertips along the vibrating string.


WTF?!! does that not sound like it's straight out of something on Literotica?!!




Last week's lab is Mechanical Energy of Heat.  Spin a metal cylinder around against some resistance and watch how the temperature rises.; calculate shit.  IN the description of the procedure and a note of observation then tell us: Note how sensitive the thermistor resistance is to the touch of your hot little hands, and how quickly or slowly thermal equilibrium is approached. 

You cannot tell me that that can't be used word for word as a bad innuendo as written for  a How To Give A Handjob Manual.


I am not amused.




That's a lie, but I'm still more wierded out by this development than amused.  God knows "talk nerdy to me" is an accurate sentiment of mine, but this is not what i intend.


if this week's lab says anything about moist, burning desire or pulsing members ready to explode, i will keep you informed.  We're doing gas pressure so this is not as far fetched as it seems, though it could also regress into toilet humor.
sxxk1ttn: (Talia)
2008-11-05 07:59 pm

Tales from the Retard Zone

So, 2 Saturdays ago I had plans to go out and be social like, and then be productive later on before going home.

This is how my Saturday started out:picture heavy gross story time! )EDIT: I x-posted this to[livejournal.com profile] too_much_info  because hell fucking yes, and people are completely overlooking the point of the post (bloody toes, nail ripped up, gore gore gore) and keep commenting about how gorgeous i am.  which is awesome, cause it makes me feel better about not being able to get a second date these days, but i really wanted more dialogue  about gross foot injuries.  the kids in TMI need to focus better on the topic at hand.
sxxk1ttn: (boobs)
2008-10-15 12:47 pm

(no subject)

Relationship boring; add AND make more people!


EDIT: Sorry, it was meant to go in dot_poly_snark !  i was at work and rushing to leave since i took a half day.
if you really want text i'll give it, but it's REALLY TL;DR and boring.



Post TEXT under cut )
sxxk1ttn: (Talia)
2008-10-08 11:01 pm

Thoughts on: I Am Legend

it's been on Cinemax all week and will be for the next few weeeks, hence why it comes to mind. I first saw it on bootleg like last spring, it's not new to me, but i cannot shake the first impression of it i had.


this is the scariest fucking movie i've ever seen in my adult life.

i'm not going to discuss cinematic merit or whatever, i don't care. i'm also not going to engage in will smith wank, i don't care either. i will tell you why this is the scariest fucking movie ever. and i'm not just referring to in-the-moment thrills, whether it makes you squirm and scream as you watch it or the monster hype (like cloverfield). it's more abstract that that.


because it is a daily journal of someone who is beyond competent (military doctor, essentially wilderness survivial expert, smart, can solve problems), yet is TERRIFIED while only just barely holding their shit together with planning and organization to the extreme knowing that any unexpected occurrence is guaranteed to get his ass eaten. and even if everything goes accordingly, he STILL might get his ass eaten.

because it is a daily journal of someone who has been alone and terrified for so long that they are losing their fucking mind and talking to the goddamn mannequins, CRYING for them to talk back.


it's easy to be confident in a protagonist who doesn't even recognize vulnerability or the hopelessness of a situation, but just stomps on through armed to the teeth. viewing such a situation removes the element of uncertainty, so it doesn't creep into your bones. if the guy who by all means SHOULD be able to take care of any problems that arises is severely questioning his own ability to do the job, coming to tears every time he has to psych himself up to confront it because the outcome is not in his favor even in the best of circumstances? because he's THAT fucking scared? and he's been so scared, for so long that he is just barely maintaining his sanity? yeah, i'm not going to be to thrilled to check out what's around the corner in the dark either.

can you think of anything that is so frightening, that it actually will scare you senseless if you have to deal with it long enough while still going on with your daily routines? i can't either, but i think the loss of ones mental facilities is about the worst, and most frightening, thing conceivable so i'll assume that whatever could instigate such a state is pretty fucking bad and i would definitely be far less capable than this kind of character.


you are watching someone slowly fall apart and come undone. have you ever seen your parents (especially the stoic one) cry and MEAN IT? it's that level of unsettling. you are watching your hopes of invincibility crumble cause everything you know is unraveling.



and THAT is why this movie is so damn horrifying.
sxxk1ttn: (Talia)
2008-10-03 08:42 am

oh ok

I just asked my boss if i could wear jeans at the office today cause my birthday is Sunday and she said yes, then cut me a check for $100.

that is quite a pleasant WTF.
sxxk1ttn: (boobs)
2008-08-21 12:01 am

Thoughts On: Extracurricular Sexism

oh hey, DomSubFriends is organizing "Misogyny  201: A How To Know What EVERY Straight Woman Wants To Hear EVER  To Get Those Panties To Drop (and sometimes this stuff works on other people if you happen to not be a straight dude whose inalienable right to get laid as often as possible with whomever is chronically being violated)" this Friday as a lecture/demo presentation.

It's being led by a dude who works for pickup companies.  Yes, this is outright stated in his credentials.

DSF has officially jumped the shark.  And this blurb is describing this dude's teachings as a way of FORCING the issue, because the way people think and feel about others is completely malleable with these simple tricks because "Attraction is NOT a choice".  Remember boys, "no" simply means "try harder" and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Yeah, i'm going to choose to not want to hear anything this assdouche has to say and i can certainly muster the willpower to not be attracted to him.  How many of you triple dog dare me to troll this event on Friday and fuck up the surefire system?

*Demo/Topic: The Art of Seduction with Peter Tenorio
*This Friday, August 22nd at Paddles
*Time: 8:45 PM - 10:45 PM
*Address: #250 West 26th Street (Bet: 7th/8th Ave--entrance thru the parking lot only)
 
 
The Presenter's bio:
Peter (Tenorio) has been a top coach for various pickup companies for over a year now, with many success stories to his credit.  He's witnessed the transformation of numerous students - turning dorks to studs and studs to rockstars - as well as his own personal transformation from learning the game. 
 
Peter's motto is "attraction is not a choice."  Women everywhere seem to assume that a man either is attraction or he is not.  Peter's own transformation, in addition to his skill at transforming his students, proves otherwise.  Tonight he'll be discussing what it takes to become an attractive man who effortlessly draws women to him and has the skill to meet and seduce any woman.
sxxk1ttn: (Talia)
2008-07-31 09:46 pm

Thoughts On: AIM and Justice

you guys.

hilarity.


i've pretty much been on AOL/AIM  for over half my life now, for the first half of that time i pretty much lived on the chat tubes.

the last 6 years or so, i only minimally interact on AIM.  people don't randomly find you there anymore since there are better networking sites available, most of my old chat buddies/friends have moved on to bigger and better things.  since i started at Hunter, i don't even log on except for maybe once a month anyway just to avoid temptation.

Everyone now and again an old flame of mine from 5 years ago, Irish Lawyer*, decides he wants to harass me with friendly, inane banter or try to get sympathy or some shit, i don't even know.  But he lives in Dublin and he's cute, so i maintain the contact in the event i find myself abroad and wanting a place to crash or a body to rub up on.  i've long ago stopped initiating contact because he's full of shit and it always leaves me with a headache and anxiety driven loss of appetite, but he like clockwork will decide to send me an IM every 4-6 mos, presumably for the same reasons as me.  It was a horrific, disastrous implosion of a fling, angry angry angry hate hate hate RAWR we can jsut completely push the other's buttons with no effort at all. I mean, this shit was fucking EPIC.  usually the time in between these contacts is due to an IM that went downhill after 5 lines of dialogue, and sad to say it's usually me (so it seems) who quietly leaves the conversation because i'm so disgusted with the situation.





* the tale of Irish Lawyer is a twisted and sordid one,

The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior or and over and expecting a different outcome, no?  and yes, i'm talking about both of us here.
sxxk1ttn: (Talia)
2008-07-27 11:20 pm

NYC Restaurant Week

yo, there is $35 prix fix menus for dinner (weekdays) at lots of fancy schmancy restaurants in the city and i'm planning on taking myself out to one everyday this week to celebrate being awesome and stuff.


anyone and everyone interested and want to provide company? want to make plans?  any good recommendations?

i'm going to Marseille Tues at 6p and Megu midtown on Thursday at 5:30p.

i think I'll hit up Barnes and Noble in Union Square tomorrow to get myself something to read, and then find a place that accepts walk in in the area (most of them do, i just don't want to commit to a time when I'm not sure how long it will take me to find reading material).  Perhaps Blue Water Grill, the Restaurant Week menu looks pretty bangin'.
sxxk1ttn: (Talia)
2008-07-09 10:44 pm

"Netipot Delicious" or "What I Flushed Out Of My Nose Last Week!"

Good evening kids.

I get pretty frequent sinus infections, I'm not actually allergic to anything (just had the blood tests to verify) and I'm tired of this bullshit. I've finally looked into doing  nasal irrigations to see if i can better get my shit to drain properly instead of harboring all this crap letting it simmer just under infection levels only to strike every 3-4 months with no warning.  I had a pretty sexy chest congestion thing happening about 2 weeks ago, coughing up lung butter and shit and then it started  making my sinus symptoms flare up so I tried to preemptively thwart it  last Friday with the day off and all.  I wake up, get the sea salt and this is what I produced.  It's not exactly a pleasant, invigorating experience like hardcore advocates of daily neti want you to believe, but looking at all this sure makes me feel productive!  Enjoy.



The end.  Also, I did this last Friday and Saturday and my sinuses haven't been a problem all week so I definitely cleared the badness out for real.

OH also. I don't actually have a proper netipot.

I've been using warm water and sea salt in the small milk/cream pitcher.  you know the little pitcher that comes with a milk and sugar set for coffee?

yeah, that.  and then i put it back in the cupboard.

(X-POSTED to [community profile] too_much_info , hence the gross post script)
sxxk1ttn: (boobs)
2008-03-07 09:47 pm

random thoughts

i kinda like this Notes feature on OKC.



*broke unemployed dropout idiot troll who lives in his parents' basement.

not so bright or swift.* 



after a brief IM exchange with  SteveKiwi
needless to say he got a 1 star rating on looks and personality.








also, 300 is totally pr0n. there's no 2 ways about it.  this pleases me.
sxxk1ttn: (Talia)
2008-02-27 10:57 am

ATTENTION CITIZENS

those of you who are less immersed in your personal bubbles than I:


what other places online can i post an ad for a used car that is 1- free to put up, and 2- not craigslist (already got that covered).


yahoo and msn are pay sites, as is autotrader, kelly blue book and other such big name, wide market type sites.  i am at a loss.



go!
sxxk1ttn: (Talia)
2008-02-15 09:13 pm

i dunno why

SxxK1ttn: and whoring themselves out on craigslist

SxxK1ttn: duh

Seldom57: ahah

Seldom57: time to start my whorin'

SxxK1ttn: yup

Seldom57: i'm sure if i close my eyes and plug my nose it won't be too bad

SxxK1ttn: no, you have to breathe through your nose or you gag and hurl

Seldom57: i'm not quite to the point of sucking cock for crack

Seldom57: i was gonna go the classy route

SxxK1ttn: no no, the same rules apply for anal too

Seldom57: hahaha
sxxk1ttn: (boobs)
2008-02-14 11:19 pm

moar OKStupid

chronologically it's from the bottom up. i am too lazy to edit it all pretty for you guy.
what can i say, i have a lab practical next week i need to study for  and then a midterm. i could use some LULzy email this weekend.


=====sxxk1ttn wrote=====
that's great, i'm actually in Italy RIGHT NOW.

where are you? we can get dinner maybe!


=====pjetro wrote=====
I must inform you that my company needs me to stay here for a bit
longer . Is there any chance you could come to ITALY???
here is my direct email conpromesso@hotmail.co.uk


=====sxxk1ttn wrote=====

oh my god wow that would be so great!!

=====pjetro wrote=====
Listen, I am comming to New York at the end of next month,and I
hope you would like to meet up with me??


=====sxxk1ttn wrote=====

only if you spell it correctly

=====pjetro wrote=====
WILL YOU BE MY VALANTINE??
sxxk1ttn: (boobs)
2008-02-04 08:34 pm

LOL WUT

From OKCupid user "stev1":
Well
I am steven cole from the UK am half cast my mom is from West africa Nigeria so am right now in nigeria working.
my main reason in talking to you is that when i saw pic on the okcupid site it was so pleasant to me i believe we can make good make relationship and time progressing we can get married and come back to my father's region.
  I am 37 naver married still single because of my nature of job am working with nigeria national petrolium coperation NNPC am in involving in off shore and on shore i wish to stop here hope to hear from you email me direct to my box stevasu4u@hotmail.com or my mobile number is +234 8077656877

My response:

L
O
L

no







Seriously guys.  i don't think i need to say anything else.  of COURSE it's a completely blank profile made yesterday.  based on the subject line with the first sentence, i was expecting to be reading one of those nigerian email scams where for a low low price of $39.95 for some bank fee, i would be able to arrange my own marriage and secure my financial future with the prince's second cousin's brother in law's bartender and his fortune from something.