Tales from the Retard Zone
Nov. 5th, 2008 07:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sxxk1ttnSo, 2 Saturdays ago I had plans to go out and be social like, and then be productive later on before going home.
This is how my Saturday started out:
Objects in mirror do not include Bachelorette Parties, Drag Queens, Getting Crunk, High Heels, Manhattan Sidewalks, Rain, Getting Crunk, Bad Faux Chinese Food, or Power Tools between the hours of 8p and 2:30a. Objects in mirror also do not do justice to my hair. It was awesome.
This is how my Saturday finished up:
OH YEAH!! 2:30a after putting away my power tools, i soberly left the office where i was putting in some shelves, walked soberly in flipflops to the front to leave and completely ate it on the 3 shallow carpeted stairs leading out of the building on my way to my car. I don't even know how the toenail got ripped off, but that upper corner was ripped up halfway to the quick from the middle as the edge was still attached. I let it bleed out to clean it as i drove home, the car heater dried the blood to my toe and shoe. I was so mortified at having tripped so hard core in the first place (even though no one was around me,or even saw me), i didn't even bother to go back to the office and use the doctor stuff inside to do home surgery. THAT IS HOW I ROLL., OR SHOULD I SAY THAT IS HOW I TRIP OVER MY OWN FEET LIKE A TARD.
after a few days of keeping it clean and pressurized, i decided to crazy glue it down so it would stop being jostled as i walked/did stuff. this was a most excellent idea, it felt 100% better after i did that since it was still attached at some points but the movement was keeping it tender.
OH FYI, trying to take off nailpolish so you can see what the fuck is going on under an injury like this with acetone BURNS LIKE FUCK! DO NOT ATTEMPT.
I noticed the middle edge was raising again the other night and I made a mental note to crazy glue it once more, but i think the injured nail bed skin grew up enough that the crazyglue came undone and the nail corner came off. There's still some that is not OK, but it's manageable now:
I hope it grows back in time for summer. I can't explain this to my nail lady.
EDIT: I x-posted this to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
too_much_info because hell fucking yes, and people are completely overlooking the point of the post (bloody toes, nail ripped up, gore gore gore) and keep commenting about how gorgeous i am. which is awesome, cause it makes me feel better about not being able to get a second date these days, but i really wanted more dialogue about gross foot injuries. the kids in TMI need to focus better on the topic at hand.
This is how my Saturday started out:
Objects in mirror do not include Bachelorette Parties, Drag Queens, Getting Crunk, High Heels, Manhattan Sidewalks, Rain, Getting Crunk, Bad Faux Chinese Food, or Power Tools between the hours of 8p and 2:30a. Objects in mirror also do not do justice to my hair. It was awesome.
This is how my Saturday finished up:
OH YEAH!! 2:30a after putting away my power tools, i soberly left the office where i was putting in some shelves, walked soberly in flipflops to the front to leave and completely ate it on the 3 shallow carpeted stairs leading out of the building on my way to my car. I don't even know how the toenail got ripped off, but that upper corner was ripped up halfway to the quick from the middle as the edge was still attached. I let it bleed out to clean it as i drove home, the car heater dried the blood to my toe and shoe. I was so mortified at having tripped so hard core in the first place (even though no one was around me,or even saw me), i didn't even bother to go back to the office and use the doctor stuff inside to do home surgery. THAT IS HOW I ROLL., OR SHOULD I SAY THAT IS HOW I TRIP OVER MY OWN FEET LIKE A TARD.
after a few days of keeping it clean and pressurized, i decided to crazy glue it down so it would stop being jostled as i walked/did stuff. this was a most excellent idea, it felt 100% better after i did that since it was still attached at some points but the movement was keeping it tender.
OH FYI, trying to take off nailpolish so you can see what the fuck is going on under an injury like this with acetone BURNS LIKE FUCK! DO NOT ATTEMPT.
I noticed the middle edge was raising again the other night and I made a mental note to crazy glue it once more, but i think the injured nail bed skin grew up enough that the crazyglue came undone and the nail corner came off. There's still some that is not OK, but it's manageable now:
I hope it grows back in time for summer. I can't explain this to my nail lady.
EDIT: I x-posted this to
too_much_info because hell fucking yes, and people are completely overlooking the point of the post (bloody toes, nail ripped up, gore gore gore) and keep commenting about how gorgeous i am. which is awesome, cause it makes me feel better about not being able to get a second date these days, but i really wanted more dialogue about gross foot injuries. the kids in TMI need to focus better on the topic at hand.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 01:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 04:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-07 03:27 am (UTC)OH SNAP
no subject
Date: 2008-11-07 04:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-07 04:47 am (UTC);P
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Date: 2008-11-07 04:57 am (UTC)you're just jealous cos your toe is bloody! :p
no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 01:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 02:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 02:34 am (UTC)Okay, maybe a little.
(*fapfapfapfapfapfapfap*)
no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 07:10 am (UTC)Sonuvabitch!!!
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Date: 2008-11-06 02:28 pm (UTC)Good thing you balanced your mutilated toe shots with a photo of your hawtness. ;) Mutilations aside, how you been?
no subject
Date: 2008-11-07 03:28 am (UTC)physics r hard.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-09 02:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-09 05:48 am (UTC)boo00o0o0000ooooooooo
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Date: 2008-11-11 03:48 pm (UTC)Of course, I have always been of the opinion that Physics is just math with an accent.
I am sure at some point physics uses calc.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-07 03:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-06 08:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-09 05:57 am (UTC)i have a job! im sexy 24-7!
Date: 2008-11-09 04:33 pm (UTC)rents due on the first, so hop to it. (i just wanna watch yer boobs bounce when you hop...)
Re: i have a job! im sexy 24-7!
Date: 2008-11-09 10:04 pm (UTC)i have a wedding to attend in SF memorial day weekend, and it's going to wipe me out.
i may have to find some random dude on CL or OKC to shack up with for the weekend to offset hotel costs. goddamn.
Re: i have a job! im sexy 24-7!
Date: 2008-11-10 12:19 am (UTC)yer welcome to crash at my pad - my bed's big enough ;)